The ability to convey information to another effectively and efficiently is a skill which everyone needs to have, it can be inborn, a gift and at same time can be learnt, it is called Communication Skill! Mentioned this because we can not do justice to Poise and Commutation without having the basic skills needed to communicate effectively.
What is Poise?
A state of balance or equilibrium, as from equality or equal distribution of weight; equipoise. Poise in a simpler definition is the balance / confidence exhibited during communication or a dignified, self-confident manner or bearing; composure; self-possession:
What is communication? It is a two way flow of information from the encoder to the decoder, well! This is strictly for those in mass communication field, will break it down.... it's a two way flow of information from one person to another or groups of person through various forms or medium.
Going through the above definitions, I would like everyone to make up their own definition of poise and communication in a way they can easily remember it and put it to immediate use.
Let's discuss various communication skills.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
Winnie-the-Pooh

Effective spoken communication requires being able to express your ideas and views clearly, confidently and concisely in speech, tailoring your content and style to the audience and promoting free-flowing communication.

Be clear and concise. Vary your tone, pace and volume to enhance the communication and encourage questions
Persuading and Negotiating Arriving at an agreement that is agreeable to both sides: a win:win situation. Back up your points with logic. Show tact to those you disagree with.
Making a speech in front of an audience: presenting your message in an interesting way, structuring your presentation, using audio-visual aids effectively and building a rapport with your audience.
Communicating effectively in a team
Ask for help when you need it. Research suggests that asking for help with something (within reason) makes you more liked by the person you ask!
Listening
Good listening has an enormous quality of nowness. Helpful listening is a form of meditation.
David Brandon
Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.
Winnie the Pooh

Make effective use of body language and speech. Be sensitive to the other person's body language as well as what they say: eye contact,  gestures, appropriate humour and analogies.
Use appropriate body language yourself: face the person with an open, attentive posture and maintain good eye contact (look at the speaker a lot, but don't stare all the time), smiling and nod your head from time to time.
The “Top Ten” Skills shortages among graduates
% of employers surveyed
1 Commercial Awareness     67%
2 Communication Skills 64%
3 Leadership             33%
4 Ability to work in a team 33%
5 Problem solving 32%
6 Conceptual ability 21%
7 Subject Knowledge & competence 19%
8 Foreign languages     19%
9 Numeracy 19%
10 Good general education 15%
Source: Association of Graduate Recruiters “Skills for Graduates in the 21st Century”.

Listen attentively. Express interest in what people are saying and don't interrupt them.
Listen More Than You Talk - Richard Branson
Be aware of any prejudices or misconceptions you or the speaker may have.
Good listening builds a rapport and understanding with the speaker and allows them to freely express their views. It motivates them to say more.
Poor listening makes assumptions, creates resistance and hostility, demotivates the speaker, inhibits their development and creates dependence on the listener.
Use ACTIVE LISTENING.
These reflect back what the speaker is saying in other words to clarify understanding: you paraphrase and repeat back key points.
They may summarise and bring new interpretations to the speakers words.
They show you're listening carefully and checks you are understanding correctly what they are saying allowing the speaker to confirm or correct your feedback.
They encourage the speaker to elaborate and to define their problems.
It is often the most useful way of giving positive feedback to someone: "I hear what you're saying and take it seriously". You can't keep saying "uh-huh" or "yes" for too long without it sounding false.


Empathy
People with a musical quality to their speech (a big variation in pitch and rhythm called prosody) tend to be more empathic. Lisa Aziz-Zadeh of the University of S. California found that people whose speech is most intonated, lilted or "sing-song" have more ability to empathise with others and to convey emotion.
Empathy means being open to the ideas of others and sensitive to their values and feelings: trying to see things from the other person's perspective.
It is about demonstrating that you understand, that you can listen from other person's point of view and reflect their meaning
Each individual has a unique perspective which should be valued. We each occupy our own private world and never completely know what's going on inside other people's minds.
Be prepared to disclose your own feelings and beliefs to encourage others to do the same: be open with other people.
Confirm and clarify
Ask yourself exactly what you want to gain from the conversation: a lack of clarity can lead to confusion and poor decisions.
Asking clarifying questions: "How?", "Why?", "When?", "Who?", "What?", "Where?", will help the other person crystallise their thoughts.
Summarise the main points in simple language.
Get the other person's agreement that your summary is accurate.
Define the problem and then move the focus to the solution: separate the points that relate to the problem and those that relate to the solution.
Agree on the action you will both take: even if this is that there will be no action. `
 Jargon free language
A survey of managers by the Institute of Leadership found that the most most irritating jargon/management speak phrases were "thinking outside the box", "going forward" and "let's touch base", so try to avoid such phrases when applying for jobs.

Use simple words and clear unambiguous language.
Be succinct: take time and effort to distil ideas to an absolute minimum.
Make simple points that everyone agrees on.
Use the active not passive voice. "I will send it to you" rather than "It will be sent to you".
Avoid Jargon!
NOT: "We need to incentivize our best of breed to think outside the box in focusing our core competencies on mission critical key deliverables."
BUT: "We should motivate our staff to use their skills on important tasks".
For help with removing jargon see the Plain English Campaign
Giving feedback
Feedback has also been called constructive criticism.
Only give feedback if the gain will exceed the pain: only use it for important things.
Praise more than you criticise! Identifying and developing strengths is more effective than focusing too much on negatives.
Constructive criticism which shows the person how they can improve. Not "Debbie was hopeless!", but "Debbie made some very useful contributions but her voice was a bit quiet. I couldn't hear her very well, so she needs to raise her voice a bit in future."
It's a good idea to ask permission: "Do you mind if I give you some feedback?". This gives the person time to prepare.
Try to give feedback immediately: on the spot if possible: it's most effective when fresh in the person's mind. The more quickly it is given the more relevance and power it will have.
Be direct and honest. Get quickly to the point, don't have long and embarrassing introductions, although starting with some genuine praise based on what the person has actually done will help
Give feedback in private if at all possible, it's insensitive to do this in front of others.
Focus on the most concrete and recent example
Stick to a single clear issue, don't pack in too much criticism as this can be disheartening.
Don't repeat the same point over and over: this will just build up resentment.
Only criticise behaviours that can be changed: "You need to improve your computing skills" rather than "You're stupid"!
Give feedback on a person's behaviour not about the person themselves. Give accurate descriptions of behaviour not comments about the person's qualities and worth as an individual: "You have been late for work a lot in the last month"rather than :"You're lazy"!
Don't compare the person with other people, as this can build jealousy: "Jane is always punctual"
Use "I" not "You" statements: "I feel upset" not "You made me feel upset".
Use specific examples. Don't say "You're hopeless at this", say "We need to give you training on how to do this"!
describe the behaviour
describe your reaction
explain why you feel this way
show you understand what's behind their behaviour
suggest a different way of behaving
Stick to facts: describe behaviour but also what happened as a result.
The best decisions are those people reach for themselves. Try not to tell the other person directly what they should and shouldn't do. Let them explore their behaviour and say themselves what needs to be done. This avoids the build up of resentment.
Allow the criticised person to express any concerns they may have.
Use tentative words such as "sometimes" and "perhaps" rather than "always" and "never": these allow the other person to avoid argument by saying that "always" is not strictly true.
Keep your emotions under control.
At the end, Check understanding: "Does what I've said make sense to you?" and summarise what you've agreed.
Talk openly about your own concerns if necessary.
Include positive comments. The praise sandwich can be an effective way to give criticism to someone without alienating them:
First make a positive statement to the person: "I think you are really trying your best"
Then the criticism "But you need to structure your essay more logically".
Make another positive statement to finish "However it's a very good first attempt"
Any fool can criticise, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

There are two types of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie

If you are receiving feedback yourself, try to accept it in a positive and non-defensive manner.
Giving Praise
Tell people something they have done that you like or what you like about them.
Give them thanks if they have done something for you. Even a simple thank you can make a big difference.
Give encouragement. If someone is not sure that they are able to do something, give them encouragement if you think they can do it.
Describe positive behaviour and it's effect in concrete terms "I really appreciate how you took the time to ...."
Respond to praise by thanking the person.


Helpful feedback
Unhelpful feedback
Is concrete and specific. It says precisely what the other person is doing wrong e.g. "Your CV is 3 pages long, you need to reduce this to two pages." Is vague and abstract. It makes the person angry because the person is not told how they can change things.
It talks about actions and says what people are doing rather than what they are e.g. "You dance really artistically" not "You're fantastic." Labels people: "You're stupid"
Makes "I" statements instead of giving blame or praise: "I felt angry when you spilt the tea" not "You're a clumsy idiot!" Just blames or praises rather than being specific
Is given immediately: not hours or days later when neither of you can remember what happened. May be delayed: by the time it is given, the person may have forgotten what you are talking about.
Apologising.
Being able to say sorry if you have done something wrong, but in an assertive rather than a passive way.



A study at the University of Utah found that if you ask someone why he is friendly with someone else, he’ll say it is because he and his friend share similar attitudes. But if you actually quiz the two of them on their attitudes, you’ll find out that what they actually share is similar activities. We’re friends with the people we do things with, as much as we are with the people we resemble. We don’t seek out friends, in other words. We associate with the people who occupy the same small, physical spaces that we do.

Good conversations
Researchers at the University of Arizona & Washington University tracked conversations of 79 students. They assessed how many conversations were trivial and how many substantive, based on whether the information exchanged was banal: “Hot today isn't it?” or more serious: “I'm really worried about her relationship with him ...”.

The happiest subjects spent 70% longer talking than the un-happiest ones, which suggests that “the mere time a person spends in the presence of others is a good predictor of the person’s level of happiness”. The happiest participants also had twice as many substantive conversations and only a third as much small talk as those who were least content.

The authors suggest that adding five substantive conversations to your weekly social calendar could boost your spirits dramatically. “Just as self-disclosure can instill a sense of intimacy in a relationship, deep conversations may instill a sense of meaning in the interaction partners.” e.g. participating in GS&M discussions.
Should be two way with both parties equally involved and interested. It is a shared experience. It is a partnership like a dance: you respond to each other's movements and are both winners.
Build people with respect: treat other people the way you want to be treated yourself. The atmosphere should feel comfortable: like plants, conversations need good ground to take root and flourish.
Talk about mainly positive things. People who talk about good news tend to cheer people up whereas people who always talk in negatives tend to depress the people they are talking to! Obviously there must be a balance, as sometimes we must talk about unhappy events, but make sure you don't do this too much. You won't go far wrong if you use the old adage: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"
There should be a willingness to be open on both sides. Each person has the opportunity to express their point of view and feelings. Relationships develop through conversations where we open up and exchange details to create closeness.
Always address someone by their first name if you know this. It shows that you are treating them as an individual.
A good conversation makes a difference; something useful happens and it has a satisfying conclusion.
Nod your head from time to time to encourage the speaker.
Leave spaces: stay silent for a few seconds. Don't talk for too long: our attention only lasts a few minutes before we need a break. Cut your story into bite sized chunks to allow breathing space.
Make descriptions specific: don't generalise or use clichés. Be precise and concrete.
Ask the speaker to elaborate on major points.
Regularly summarising can improve the quality and accuracy of your conversations. Feed brief summaries back into the conversation.
When starting conversations show that you value the other person's attention: "I'd really like your opinion about ....."
For instance, a woman with elegant poise tells people that she has composure, dignity and self-respect.

Another woman with a graceful poise makes her more physically beautiful and attractive that the physical features she was born with. She would be such a beauty to watch, as she moves elegantly around the room or go about her ways.

A girl with an intelligent poise may provoke interest in high calibre people. Their university professors might pause a second longer to listen to what she has to say. She might find favour in getting hired. She might attract intelligent-minded people.

A certain stance would make you seem more confident, attractive, smart and successful. What those impressions may bring...who knows? But they are certainly more favourable than being dismissed.

Ever notice yourself in an accidental photo with the perfect poise? Compare this to a photo where you were caught in a terrible poise - say with eyelids half-open (because you were blinking) or in an awkward stance?

You smile and think that you looked good for the former, and you shudder at the latter.

Dress Your Best
Dress your best to always give yourself confidence that you already look great. There is a psychological effect when you do that. Your body responds to your thoughts and that influences how you feel. How you feel projects how you you look!

Haven't you had days when you wore something great and bumped into some people you like? You were so glad that it happened. There are also days when you accidentally had a chance meeting with your boss looking like a total slob? You didn't feel very good then did you?

When you feel confident, great, and on top of the world, it reflects a certain poise. You look healthy, radiant and ready to take on the world!

When you're feeling low, sloppy, ugly - you feel like bear just wanting to crawl back under to hibernate for 6 months of winter. You hope you don't meet anyone. That also will show up in your poise (or lack thereof).

Study the Way that You Walk
There is a misconception that girls think a beautiful walk is the fashion-model strut, like on a runway. Get rid of the supermodel walk. It is reserved for very few occasions (like if you're a fashion model working the runway), and there's no place for it in your everyday walk.

My dance teacher once told me that for graceful posture, imagine a string in the middle of your chest putting upwards (gently) without over arching your back.

To be honest with you, after so many years, I'm still working on my walk! I have made progress in correcting some bad habits. So be patient with yourself.

About half a century ago, girls were taught how to walk. These lessons existed in schools, not just in specialty or finishing schools, but everywhere. It is a pity it is not longer a requirement to learn how to walk.Exercise For Poise and Posture
I've noticed that people who exercise regularly do not seem to have problems of attaining good posture. With good posture, half the battle is won to achieve an elegant poise. Dancing helps too. Especially ballet and ballroom dancing.

Keep Your Arms To Your Sides
Another tip of how to develop poise is to keep your arms close to your sides as much as you can, in a relaxed way. When I took posture lessons, my instructor told us to constrict movements from your elbows as much as possible. Obviously don't stick your arms like glue to your sides. If your shoulders are hunched upwards, that's too close.
Never Ever Rush Or Be In A Hurry
To be poised to never seem like you're in a hurry, no matter what calls. Do not walk too quickly. Do not strut making loud sounds of your heels clicking against the boardwalk. Do not eat in a hurry, no matter how hungry you are. Do not zip up your purse in an anxious and fast way. Be as quiet as possible and unhurried. This also means no slamming of car doors, house doors, fridge door, no matter how you feel. It is all about being in a relaxed control.

Obviously, this is harder than it looks especially in the fast paced society that we live in. I'm guilty as charged! If you find yourself hurrying everywhere, it is probably due to poor time management. You could also be doing too much. Slow down, select (root meaning of the word "elegance" is be selective) - elegance is after all, a way of life.

Be Gentle
There is a certain kind of chic gentleness in being poised. Gentle and elegant gestures increases our beauty. Clothes are not the only 'covering' we wear.

It is much easier to be gentle when you are kind and tender. Gentle is an all encompassing word. If you're gentle to little animals, you'll be gentle towards someone's feelings. You'll also probably not slam things around.


Smile Much, Laugh Softly
Similarly, as learning to be gentle is instrumental in developing poise, being poised also means having a gentle smile as well as soft harmonious laughter.

Grinning widely like a greedy con-artist or laughing like a hyena with mouth wide open is NOT going to contribute to your appearance of poise. Note this...big grin.

And neither does knee-slapping, hand-clapping or back slapping will too.

Watch Your Hands - Do Not Touch Or Fidget
Some of us have problems keeping our hands to ourselves. The problem of fidgety hands and wanting to touch everything, signifies an internal problem of being 'unable to relax'. If you want to develop poise, train yourself to keep them relaxed and do yourself.

Don't be digging into your purse, looking at your phone every 30 seconds, touching your face, hair. It is good to practice restraint.

Have A Deep Respect Of Others and Things Around You
Women with elegant poise seem to have a deep respect of others and things around them. For instance, they tend to leave a place the way it was when they entered. They are not ones to touch things in another person's house. If they borrowed something, it would be in the exact condition (or better sometimes) when they received it.
They'll not be one of those that leave the hotel rooms ( when on vacations)in a complete mess just because they don't have to clean up. They won't drive a rented a car in a way they won't drive their own. They won't say, "who cares? It is rented." They are also not the sort steal blankets from air planes, yes! People do it o especially naughty naija peeps. etc.

A summary: How To Develop Poise
How to Develop Poise Summary

Dress Your Best

Videotape Yourself

Study the Way that You Walk

Elegant Posture With Extra Help

Exercise For Poise and Posture

Keep Your Arms To Your Sides

Never Ever Rush Or Be In A Hurry

Be Gentle

Smile Much, Laugh Softly

Watch Your Hands - Do Not Touch Or Fidget

Have A Deep Respect Of Others and Things Around You.
Group assignment
Get someone to video you while working, study your walking step and make necessary amendment needed to gain poise. Thank You.
Power poses
Here's how it works: High-power posing is about opening up.You stretch and expand your body to take up as much space as possible. It's similar to how primates behave in the wild. They puff out their chests and extend their limbs to make themselves appear — and feel — big.

After assuming a high-power pose for just two minutes, your testosterone levels (the "dominance" hormone) can rocket 20% while your cortisol levels (the "stress" hormone) fall sharply. This allows you to better handle stressful situations.

1,Becoming more powerful starts the night before. It's time to nix the fatal position.

Sleeping on your side with your arms and legs pulled toward your torso is considered a low-power position, you may wake up feeling sensitive and vulnerable without understanding why, which is not a good way to face a chaotic, competitive workplace / day.

The power position, which we'll call "Princess Adegbite's sleep position," makes you feel bigger and, therefore, more powerful. Lie with face up and body stretched out straight, arms can be underneath ur head or spread out.
FOR SPEAKING IN A MEETING: Tightly cross your arms across your chest and roll your shoulders back.
Doing "The Don Mayor style" can help drive home an argument in the boardroom.

Your shoulder posture in this position is pivotal in shaping how observers interpret the folded arms, according to Noah Zandan, president of communications-analytics company Quantified Impressions.

If the shoulders are rolled forward, others will interpret the arms as a sign of weakness, sending the message that you're scared. But if you roll those shoulders back and hold your head high, the crossed arms become a signal of confidence.

While you're at it, it's important when you raise your hand to extend your arm fully, taking up space, as opposed to resting the elbow on the table. Women tend to bend at the arm more than men.
FOR CLOSING A DEAL: Plant your hands on the table and lean forward.
As you're rounding the last bend of your presentation and preparing to deliver the bottom-line offer, command the room with a position Cuddy calls "The Loomer." Leaning forward while standing shows you're engaged and in a position of dominance.
Cuddy named this pose in tribute to Lyndon B. Johnson. "Johnson was six-four," and he used his stature very thoughtfully, to intimidate and seduce," she says.
FOR PITCHING AN IDEA: Rest your feet on the table, clasp your hands behind your head, and lean back.
We call this one "The Obama," because the commander in chief can often be seen with his feet propped up on the Oval Office desk.

This is a tough one to pull off, but Cuddy assures us that resting your feet on the desk — preferably your own — and placing your hands behind your head can lead you to take more potentially profitable risks, like saying your next Big Idea out loud. And this is true, my husband does this a lot and that makes him very expressive during presentations or any other time.
For more: send me a mail on Prinno27@yahoo.com
Cost for personal tutorial : 5,000 for 5 classes of 2hours each.
Thank You and God bless.