The ‘Urhobo’ are one of the many Nigerian tribes. They are located within the heartland region of the Niger Delta  of Nigeria and are the largest single tribe in the present Delta.

What Do We Mean By Traditional Marriage The Urhobo Way?

Urhobo traditional marriage is unique to Urhobo culture and traditions. Indeed, marriage in Urhobo world view is an enduring institution. It is sacred. It looms large enough to tie two independent families together forever.

 It is imperative to note that the Urhobo marriage extends beyond the couples directly involved; it embraces the extended families of the spouses. Indeed, Urhobo marriage is a marriage of two families. This is so because the families play very central roles in ensuring the success of the marital relationships from the time of courtship through the marriage negotiations to the contracting of the marriage.

 Divorce is rare; Urhobo traditional marriage endures beyond the life of the husband. Divorce is rare; Urhobo traditional marriage endures beyond the life of the husband. In fact, it is the wife’s life span. This is due to the fact that on the death of the husband, the wife is passed on to a member of the husband’s family for continued marriage. This custom provides emotional and financial stability, and continuity of the marriage.

The families are also expected to intervene or mediate when there are problems or conflicts between husband and wife, and when the marriage relationship is threatened in any way – this is in total contrast to the western marriage system where family intervention is seen as interference.

 The nucleus of Urhobo traditional marriage takes various forms. From time, there have been some distinct processes of marriage proposals or types of traditional marriages. Any of these marriage forms are recognised by our society, as they form key aspects of our customs and traditions.

These are:

“Esavwijoto” occurs when parents propose marriage on behalf of their son or daughter at an early age. Pledges of this nature are also made and redeemed, as a result of observed exemplary character of a young girl or boy. It could be made as a reward for exceptional valour. The uses or instances of this concept are infinite. Normally, with this type of marriage, love develops between the couple only after marriage has been officially contracted.

"Ose” - Admitting language limitations in describing one’s concept by another language. Ose is a form of marriage recognized as binding, but in which the traditional dowry has not been paid and accepted as prescribed. Couples may live together or apart, but enjoy full de facto conjugal rights and exclusiveness but limited customary (legal) rights of husband and wife. Some notable distinctions of this type of marriage are that such husband will not be allowed to bury and mourn his would-be parents in law, like a fully married man.

“Arranged Marriage in absentia”- In this case, the male who is usually abroad or outside the Urhoboland or even Nigeria, would request his parents or family to marry a wife of their choice for him. Both potential husband and wife may not have seen or met each other previously. During the marriage ceremony of this type of marriage, the man’s brother or a nominated relative would represent him as husband of the bride.

The wife may be required to spend some time with the absent husband’s family before being dispatched to her new husband. Love may, or may not develop when they meet for the first time. If they like each other, the marriage may be consummated, and is likely to survive. In some cases, either party may refuse to go ahead with the marriage, and call it off.

 “Boy-Meets-Girl and Modern Courtship”- This is more or less a modern concept and is not unique or particular to Urhobo culture or tradition of marriage terms.

This process has become one of the current approaches used by modern day boys and girls. In most cases, the parents may not know of the initial courtship until their son or daughter informs them. Both families then get involved. If they agree, marriage plans are then made. The process may first be to do the traditional marriage rites, before proceedings to either the Church marriage or the Registry.

Thank God for Christianity and modernization that has changed some of these practices.