The first stage of changing is to recognise the problem – You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing. If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognise what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life.

The second stage is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns – We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love.
The third stage is to replace the bad with the good – This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. E.g when you see two love birds happy and having fun.. don't say in ur mind " hmmm let watch and see how this will end, is this love real, na wa o, just say in ur mind " I like what I see, Someday I too will be happy with my man for others to admire".

To change your thinking pattern you have to

Recognise
Be aware
Slowly change and introduce a new thinking pattern.

Keep working on all your destructive thinking patterns
Change your life with your new way of thinking.

You are special and deserve all good and beautiful things of life.